i might be crazy.

so the passenger and dana and joan, and KT and jes and many many others are right about me. i think too much. way too much. way, way, too much.

i do this ridiculous thing to myself sometimes. i will be engaged in an activity with someone or something that is interesting/entertaining/fun/exciting etc. and i will start to think about all of the possible ins and outs of what i am doing and all of the tributaries that led me to do that certain thing or be with that certain person at that particular time on that particular day in that particular way, and all of the effects of that thing i am doing, or that person i am with, and i will mull these thoughts over, all the while continuing the engagement with the person/thing until i get to a point where either the entertainment/connection with the thing/person takes over, or the thinking takes over. if the thinking takes over, i will start to tell myself i think too much. i may even say it out loud. then, i will try to make myself stop thinking, which usually results in more thinking. it then creates a vicious cycle that can only be remedied by a change of venue. mind you, the elapsed time from start of engagement to reminding myself i think too much is approximately 5 minutes…sometimes less.

am i crazy? i’m leaning toward no, but the verdict is still out.

ultimately, i know i just need to do more yoga and find that center, that i know i have, that i live in so much of the time now, where i know i can just be. mindfully. but sometimes all the trappings of life drive me a little nuts and i forget to breathe.